Reunions

I'm not sure, but I don't think I'll ever go to a High School Reunion. College, there's a possibility, especially if it doesn't involve going back to my college. I didn't hate everyone in college. In fact, if it weren't for the fact that my life took a serious turn for the worst right about dead center in college, I think I might have almost fond memories of it.

But not high school. Why is that, I sometimes ask myself? And the funny thing is, I'm not sure I have a good answer. It could be because, as I often say to people who tell me I should go to high school reunions, I only want to see a few people and I can practically guarantee that they won't be there. If they're not dead or in jail, I would imagine that their feelings for reunions would run somewhat parallel to mine. But it might not be true, and I still don't want to go to a reunion.

I won't hash out my woes in high school; I think anyone who had a great time in high school and wishes they could go back is probably either a sad person or lying to themselves. I don't think adolescence is good to anyone, really. I didn't hate everyone in my school, so why don't I want to reunite with them? Why don't I want to embrace nostalgia?

That may be it right there. I'm not a nostalgic person, by nature. Things come, things go, I don't look back on them. Maybe it's a sign of lack of reflectiveness on my part. Maybe it's a defence mechanism. Maybe it's just me. But I don't have anything in common with my high school co-belligerents now, and I don't really want to drag out the past for inspection.

Or maybe I'm ashamed that I'm not as successful as I should be, or that I don't have 3.5 kids and two garages, or whatever. Certainly, that's a good reason to go to a reunion: show off your success. Maybe even rub it in a few choice faces. But I've got very little to rub.

Maybe I do hate everyone from high school. Or maybe I'm just over-analysing. The simple fact of the matter is that I don't want to go.

I'll probably feel different as time moves on. But then again, maybe not.

If this was entirely too much navel-gazing vacillation for your taste, you're probably not alone. In fact, I know you're not alone; it's too much for my taste too. This damn blog.