It's Fairly Likely

Hey, you know what? It's a bad idea to drive and talk on your cellphone at the same time. I know this is a hard concept for people to understand. But I'm going to have to call asshole on you if you drive and talk simultaneously.

This issue is like smoking. Remember back when people genuinely believed that smoking wasn't bad for you? There was a lot of evidence that in fact it was really bad for you, but people genuinely seemed uninterested in listening to this evidence. Or how about cocaine? There was a period of time when a lot of people, despite evidence to the contrary, seemed bound and determined to believe that cocaine was A-OK for you.

Well wake up, stupid people. Even if all you're doing is holding the cellphone in one hand while you drive, not looking at it or talking into it, it's still making you less safe as a driver. Because driving is not the simple, everyday activity we all seem to think it is. It requires a lot of brain power, and two hands. If you only use one hand, especially in crucial situations, you're probably going to be less safe.

But the best part is that you're not just only using one hand. You're only using a fraction of your brain. And let's face it, world: our brains just aren't that big. Most people can't drive worth a damn even when they use their entire brain on the task, so why should anyone think that using only part of an already-too-small brain on a task which we're not very good at to begin with which requires a great deal of brain power is a good idea? Did that sentence confuse you? Well, try reading it again; you can do that when you're reading. But you can't do it when you're driving; if you screw up, you only get one chance at it. And it's hard, like that sentence was.

So if you sit at a stop light talking on your cellphone, or you drive around a sharp curve talking on your cellphone, or even if you just drive on a perfectly straight road at 15 miles per hour while talking on your cellphone, you're probably an asshole. You're definitely a moron, but the asshole thing is a little harder to judge. I'm going to say probably.