Deporting Criminals

Oh no, immigrants cause crime. They're filth, smelly criminals with but one thought on their minds, which is crime. And by the way, they love being criminal crime-committers so that they can commit further highly-criminal crimes. Crime.

Okay, sarcasm alert has passed. I know, I swear up and down each time that I'll stop talking about immigration, but I keep having to make these little observations because people keep on saying stupid things and using stupid reasoning. Well, you know what other large segment of the population causes a large percentage of crimes? And not just any crimes either, but violent crimes, the big ones? Men. Statistical fact there, Chester. As a man, I'm just as shocked, shocked as everyone else, but the facts are there.

Now, bearing in mind that I am a man, you'll not be terribly surprised to learn that I don't think that rounding up all the men in the country, nay the world, and deporting them to keep crime low is a good idea. In fact, it's a very bad idea. But not just because I'm a man.

See, the problem with crime is that it comes in multitudinous varieties. So to say that illegal immigrants increase crime is about as helpful as saying that men increase crime. In fact, all demographics increase crime. Show me a demographic, and I can make a case that that demographic causes an increase in the level of some type of crime.

Perhaps illegal immigrants do increase the crime rate. And you know why? They're illegal. You could make them respectable citizens and ensure that they didn't have to live in poverty, and you know what? It would probably improve the crime situation, at least from the standpoint at which most people seem to stand. It might cause an increase in the number of insider trading scandals, but I doubt that improving people's lot in life will increase the amount of theft, for example. Here, I don't have the figures to back myself up.

The point that I was trying to make, and got sidetracked from, is that the "illegal immigrants cause crime," reasoning is stupid. If illegal immigrants didn't increase crime at all, people still wouldn't want them here. I'm leaning toward racism on that. And if illegal immigrants were coming from some country with nice white people, I bet money that people would be less inclined to complain.

You know a group of immigrants who came to this country and worsened our crime situation immensely? Italians. Did we kick all of them out? No, because not all Italians are involved in the Mafia. Should we have kicked them all out? I imagine that there are people, and there certainly were people, who think so. Are those people racists? Safe money.