The Right Occasion

Why is it that some people, no names, no blame, seem not to know when a good time is for things to be done or said? I'm not talking about the appropriateness of comments; I could write a book on people being inappropriate, but it wouldn't be terribly fun, or it might be huge fun, but regardless, that's not of what I speak. Why can't people see when someone is busy, or unable to respond?

I do it sometimes too; I think we all do. We think that our problems or comments or questions are more important than other people's. And sometimes they are, but usually they aren't, or if they aren't less important, they're not more-important-enough to warrant cutting in. And some people seem to make a habit of these barging-ins.

When you have just awoken, that is not the time to be told to do something, or asked a question of life and death that can wait until later. It's not hard; usually our brains have not completely revived even after our bodies arise. So asking someone to make a split-second decision when they're still really asleep is probably going to lead to poor decision-making. Sometimes, true, it must be done. But most of the time, you can wait for a few minutes until the person being asked has fully emerged from the cocoon of sleep.

When someone is trying to do something else, don't expect that person's undivided attention. Most of the time, the things we are doing when we're busy aren't terribly important, but they usually occupy our brains, and if you ask us questions or force us to make decisions, we might not really be listening to you. Sometimes we should be, but you just have to expect it.

And why, when I am out of the area in question (what question, you'll see) do people always give me things which need to go in said area? It's only when I'm not on the computer that people want me to do things on the computer for them. It's only when I'm not carrying my wallet that people hand me things which should go in my wallet. It's only when I have no pockets that people give me things I need to put in a pocket. Why can't you wait until I have the thing I need or am where I need to be? Why can't you put it there yourself?

I do this too. I claim I will forget if I don't give it to you now. And that's probably true. But to put the shoe on the other foot, if you give it to me so you won't forget it, if I'm not in a position to do the appropriate thing with it, it will probably get put somewhere else and forgotten, so we both lose.

In conclusion, don't hand me mail as I'm heading to the bathroom. Don't give me money when I'm miles away from my wallet. Don't wake me up in the middle of the night and ask me to make important, but not immediate, decisions. You will continue to do these things, but if we all try, maybe we can all lose fewer things.

There, I've said my piece. Not a terribly appropriate forum though, since no one who's likely to need to follow any of these edicts will read it.