Not Excusing

I tend not to make New Years resolutions because I know I won't keep them. Not because I'm a bad person, just because... well, okay, I'm a bad person. I don't like to lie to myself about self-improvement, because that just seems like a slippery slope. I'm a bad person and I don't see that improving, frankly, so I'll be honest about it.

That said, there is something very nice about resolutions if they are ones you plan on keeping. We all fall into ruts in life, and kicking ourselves out of them is healthy. But if we make resolutions that are doomed to fail, we're not helping ourselves. Either we resolve to do too much (Tony Kornheiser, or rather Tony Kornheiser, or rather, officially, Tony Kornheiser, wrote an amusing article about this wherein he claims men are the biggest culprit in the over-resolving kick, but I think it can happen to anyone) and can't possibly succeed (I wish I could find a copy of the article on the unofficial website which is blatantly ripping Tony off and seems to have very little acquaintance with copyright law, so I guess it's okay that I can't, but I did give a link to this site, which is bad), or we resolve to do something and never slip up, which is asking for trouble. It's okay to make a mistake or two.

Most resolutions could survive a small setback, but people take all of them so seriously. Certainly, if you resolve to stop murdering prostitutes, or to stop doing heroin, a small slip-up is really more of a problem than just breaking your resolution. But if you resolve to eat more healthily (a sensible resolution, rather than, say, resolving to go on a strict diet of water and vitamin pills, which is neither healthy nor realistic) you shouldn't decide to throw in the towel just because that brownie unfairly tempted you. You can slip up. It's okay.

How, you ask, can I make this work for me? Rationalization. If you resolve to eat more healthily, rationalize a few snacks into "healthily" by remembering that moderation is everything, and even "healthily" must be pursued in moderation. If you resolve to work out three times a week, rationalize a few missed exercises by exercising a little longer next time. Don't try to make up for your mistake by doubling your commitment, and don't throw in the towel. Even if you fail to exercise three times a week, if you exercise a few more times than you otherwise would, you're better off than you otherwise would be, right? The guilt you feel for messing up is punishment enough; don't make it worse by making the rest of the resolution untenable.

I guess what I'm saying is that it's okay to mess up, as long as you try, and keep trying. Which is why this essay, which claims to have been written on Friday, was in fact written a few days later than that. As I said at the beginning (of the year), I will not succeed in writing something in this blog every day. But I feel a little guilty about failing, and I suppose that's healthy too. And since I stated at the outset that it was a resolution doomed to failure, and since I never actually made a New Year's resolution to do it, it's okay.