Impersonal Pronoun

We've got to get a new pronoun for neuter cases. I mean, got to. I'm tired of typing, "he or she," every time I want to refer to a person without gender. And if I want to refer to a person without personage, it's, "he or she or it." We've got to do better.

Many people use "they." This is wrong. It's used all the time, but it's still wrong. They is plural. Rather, "they" is plural, they are plural. See the problem? I thought not. But at any rate, "they" is incorrect.

I've also heard various noises about, "(s)he," and, "hir," but they'll never fly. For one, they look ridiculous. Who wants to put parentheses in a pronoun? Okay, so I use parentheses a lot, perhaps too much. But within a word? And "hir?" Come now, that's just silly.

Note that I am not for one second saying that we should all just get over it and use "he" and "him" and "his" because that's what we've always done and it's not with regard to sex. Sadly, that argument is sexist, and while I'm not one to be politically correct (and what does that word mean anyway, since it's usually not political at all; wait, note for another time), everyone is not a "him." In certain circumstances, the alternation of pronouns works out, and in others, the use of "her" and "she" as the universal pronoun might work, but in most cases those solutions would be confusing in a way which, sexist or not, the use of "he" and "him" would not be. Again, that's sexist, but I think you'll find that most people would agree that the use of the masculine pronoun is less confusing in gender-neutral situations. It's a function of conditioning; we're used to seeing it. It doesn't make the practice right, but it does make it common.

So are we supposed to refer to everyone as "it?" I've gotten a certain amount of mileage out of "one," as in: "If one were to examine..." The problem is that "one" usually takes the place of the second person singular (i.e. "you" for all those who've forgotten basic grammar). Generally it refers to a specific individual without specificity (a confusing concept, I know). "It" is hard to work around too.

So I guess I'll keep typing, "he or she," or forgetting my manners and just typing, "he," because I'm a horrible person. But consider: if every book in the country referred to unspecified people as, "Conquerors of the Negroid Scum," how long do you think that would last, tradition, expediency, and lack of alternatives taken into consideration? I don't think it would last too long, even if the only reasonable alternative was, "Racially-inclusive groups of individuals." And no one could call that politically-correct namby-pamby-ism.

Well, okay, some people could and would call it just that. See how stupid some people are? Or rather, see how stupid some racially-and-gender-inclusive individuals are?