Put a Price On It

Prostitution comes in many forms. There is a certain part of me which likes to think that anything anyone does for money is a form of prostitution. That part of me is also the part of me that likes to stick it to The Man and be all rebellious and shit. That part of me likes to curse. It also thinks I'm a horrifying sell-out.

I don't think everyone is a whore. Far from it. I wish, sometimes, I could be a whore, because prostitution involves making money, and I need money for most of the things I do. Capitalism being the greedy demon feeding on the blood of the oppressed that it is, and all.

But it serves us occasionally to examine just what our prices are. How much money (or other less-tangible reward) would it take to make us forget our principles. Because if that isn't prostitution, then I don't know what is. If your principles include selling sex for money, then you're not really a prostitute, except in the legal sense. But I doubt that there are that many people out there who genuinely believe that selling sex for money is within their moral compass. Most people may ignore their moral compass in exchange for money, but at the end of the day, that's prostitution.

I have a price. I think everyone does. Even if it is fairly high, or involves the threat of death to one's self or loved ones, or the destruction of innocent lives, or whatever, I think pretty much everyone has a price. Why fight it? Why live in denial?

In the spirit of this, I would like to announce that I would have sex with pretty much anyone in exchange for money. I charge a sliding scale, and I really can't quote you a price unless I know something about you, like how much you might be prepared to pay. Also hygiene. And if I find you attractive, my prices will drop dramatically.

The problem is that I am not exactly a hot commodity, so there's little chance of my making a living as a prostitute, as I said above. I would have a hard time underselling some people, for one. And I'm not exactly going out of my way to drum up business. So at the end of the day, you'll probably be keeping your money, and I'll be keeping my pants on. Everyone will probably be happier that way.

Let's get it out in the open. Put a price on it. It's probably terribly unhealthy and morally wrong, but setting your price for selling out is honest, so there's something.