Olympus

So it appears that China is going to take the Olympic torch on a whirlwind tour of the universe. I shouldn't say it appears, because that's what they're doing, and we've known about it for a while now.

But it does raise a question: what next? I don't mean for China. I mean for the torch. Frankly, once you've been up Mount Everest, what else can you do?

I guess next time the Olympics rolls around, whoever the country is will have to take it to the Moon. Or perhaps Mars. Maybe they can put it on a submarine and take it deeper than any torch has ever gone before. I guess the risks to the flame would be fairly great underwater, but then, I'd hate to be the poor bastard mountaineer who has to haul a torch up what is certainly not an easy climb to the summit of Mount E (I went to school with her cousin-in-law, so it's okay if I use the familiar name).

Actually, the question it raises isn't so much the snide one I was asking, but rather a twofold problem of symbol. First off, it's a flame, people. Flames do not exist as physical objects, and therefor cannot be carried anywhere. The burning material can go places, but unless you carve out a hunk of wherever in Greece and haul it up Mount E, the original material stayed right there with the original flame. But I accept that it's a symbol and that people don't really care about scientific fact, so I just felt the need to say it and then move on.

The bigger problem is one of the Olympics. Sure, I guess they're a fine symbol of world togetherness. I guess. Because the thing is, they don't bring the world together. They make us compete nationally, and no matter how they try to sell it, it's an exercise in rampant nationalism. It used to be an occasion where people from different countries could meet without killing one another, but we've moved beyond diplomacy-as-sporting-event in our dealings with others in the world. Besides, most of the time, the people who really should be getting together even though their countries are bitter enemies don't get together anyway.

So it's basically a big national pissing contest. And it's expensive. It's not just the competition between athletes any more; oh no, now countries and even cities within the same country compete over who will get to blow their wad on the biggest, most spenderific games yet. If it wasn't a competition, why would China take the torch up Mount E? Why would London bankrupt itself to have several weeks of tepid entertainment. Why would mouldering stadia dot the globe, testament to the disposable culture of the Olympic spirit?

I'm glad that people who have nothing better to do have an outlet. Since there's no Professional Gymnastics League to pay millions of dollars (don't tell me there is, I don't want to know), I'm glad that little gymnasts the world over have a place to go to win medals that are the tip top. I'm not down on sports entirely. But when you consider the amount of money we spend versus the payoff we get, I'm not sure they're cost-effective. It's very easy for me to say that, sitting here anonymously on the internet, home of the friendless, jock-hating loser. But I still think it deserves a closer look.