Muslims Don't Rule the World

Hey, I know this may come as a shock to many people out there, but all the fear-mongering about Islam is largely crap. There are quite a few people who seem to think that there are so many Muslims in this country (apparently hiding out somewhere) that we're in danger, somehow, of being overrun by a massive wave of unassimilated Muslims (if the Mexicans don't breed us out first).

The problem with that brilliant thesis is two-fold: one, it's hard to judge how many Muslims there are in the United States, but even if you take the largest estimates, we're not talking about half the population; and two, part of the reason why it's hard to figure out the Muslim population is because they've assimilated so well. So either you believe that there are millions and millions of hidden Muslims out there, in which case they're hardly likely to be a threat in terms of assimilation, or you believe that no Muslim in this country has assimilated and never will. In either case, you are, politely-speaking, a moron.

I'm not defending terrorists. Lordy no. Nor do I really feel like stepping up to the plate for Islam, since I'm pretty much down on organized religion in general. But Islamophobia is racism, plain and simple. I don't care if Muslims flew the airplanes into the World Trade Center. I don't care if most terrorists we hear about (and that "we hear about" is an indication of something, too) are Muslim, or at least identify as Muslim. It is racist to believe that Muslims are somehow worse people, just as it is racist to believe that African Americans are worse people, or Arab Americans are worse people, or Asian Americans are... wait a minute.

See, when people say, "Muslim," they usually mean, "arab, or possibly black, or maybe in a pinch asian." Because if you're a European-type person, you're either not a Muslim, or you converted which means you don't need to be assimilated. So when we worry about "Muslims" what we're really worrying about is race.

Well guess what? Jews hate Muslims, right, and they can't both rule the world. And we've been scared of Jews ruling the world for much longer than we've been scared of "Islamofascists" (a word I cannot stand because it means something completely different than either of its root words).

So which will it be, wackos? You can't have the Elders of Zion and Barrack Obama the Secret Muslim. Those two are pretty much mutually exclusive. You could posit that one really controls the other (my money's on the Elders of Zion, personally, but it's an easy bet for me to make since I don't believe any of it) but then only one really rules the world and you only need to worry about one of them. So which will it be?

In case you were wondering, I'm back, bitter, and sarcastic, and I hope you're smart enough to recognize sarcasm when you read it.